journal mi

  People who wish you well, want you to be fine, always. Yes, “I am fine”, is more convenient for everyone. But is that how Life plays out? Is there not a time to weep and a time to laugh? For those that notice the times of weeping, would you leave them to the symptoms or can   trust them with the cause? Or would you rather go to your closet and ‘wrestle’ it out with your creator?    

What do humans do with pain and heartbreaks? Who do they talk to about it? To God? To God alone? To God and man? To man alone? To spouse and partner? To biological family? To neighbours? To local spiritual family? To spiritual family, universal? To only clergy? To friends met on Life’s journey? To colleagues and business partners? To professionals – counsellors, therapists, and emotional coaches? To strangers? To social media? To God alone? To God and man? ‘F O7.08.2021  

Part I In your 20s, it is not a thought, you rest assured that Mr or Miss Oga is on the way. Then when you can sight the 3rd floor, you may start wondering and actively hoping and praying that it happens before you hit the big 3-0! At this stage, humans won’t let you rest, they seem to believe that the more your unmarried state is discussed, the better pressured you feel to ‘take action’. What is action? For a Christian maybe – pray and fast more, go out more, dress up more deliberately to catch his/her eye, join a group in church - make it a big church so the probability is higher. Anyways for some, you then cross the big 3-0 and you are still here 😊 and no, the world didn’t come an end. In my opinion, the toughest stages are between 28 -33 or maybe 35. If you are 35 and are unmarried, hopefully, you have gone past crying and self-doubts to just living your reality, whilst still hoping for the dude/babe or choosing celibacy. Part II I understand that some feel that because they are

 …the heart leaps A kindred spirit is close. Different personalities but same core Same backbone, different gloss.   Beyond the surface Beyond dollars and bread Beyond fronting and coding Beyond wig and selfies.   Authentic, vulnerable and safe Errors rebuked but covered. Intense, consistent and deliberate Tender.   Zero performance required Just honesty and willingness to grow Broken but beautiful Broken and beautiful 'Funmilayo Akinwale #GreenNotes (29.09.2020)

Sin is my claim to my right to myself. Sin is me trying to be God. It is a disposition.   A disposition that does not acknowledge that I am only the breath of God and dust. A disposition to live by my own terms, and not on the terms of the God who created me. The disposition of sin is not limited to immorality and wrong-doing. It is the disposition of self-realization – I am my own god! I can do things, the way I want!   The good news is that God sent His son to take that disposition away. The disposition of wanting to do things my way - as if I created myself and put myself on this planet. Another sweet part is that once I acknowledge that God owns me, and I agree to live on His terms, His Spirit begins to work righteousness in me. He does the work, on my inside. He has no respect for my temperament or preferences. He takes over my life, completely!   But can you imagine the creator of the world taking over your life? Can you imagine the possibili

 Dear Runner, Where to this time? Mali? Ghana? East Africa? Dubai? Or is it the UK? Does the thing you are running away from, deserve all the visa processing wahala?   “I’m not running, I’m seeking.” Seeking for What? Seeking What? “For third second chances.” “I’m tired.” “I need a re-start.”   How many re-starts will you scout for in a lifetime? “As many as I need.” “I will continue running (Oops, no. Seeking - till I find).” “May God help me find.”   What are you actually seeking for? “Home.” Is home on this side of eternity? “A type of home – yes!”   You have run from friends, family, ex-colleagues, neighbours When will you stop? How would you stop? Who would help you stop? Why should you stop? Should you stop? Stop!   ‘Funmilayo Akinwale Green Notes (3.10.2020)